Tuesday, May 15, 2012

When you take a minute...


To really enjoy what you have...

And not just enjoy it...

But to hold still...

Let it sink into your bones...

Breathe it into your soul...

Enjoy...

Touch...

Feel...

Love...

You realize how lucky you really are...


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

There's a reason for everything...

Shadows
And it's usually a simple one...

If I turn the white hot light of hindsight onto the present and let it burn away all the pretty excuses...

I am left with the obvious...

If you wanted to, you would...

You haven't... so...

Friday, May 4, 2012

I want my MOM!!!

I really do...

This year will be the first time in 30 years that I don't go see my mommy!! 

Ok, I think I missed one...  I don't remember why... But my mom was so sad I vowed never to do it again... Ever...

I'm not sure how to do this...

I'm really not...

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

SAD

2/365 - Brave Face 
I really wish the rain would stop...  I need some sunshine...

Monday, April 30, 2012

Open Hands...

 
Wind blowing through sand...
Clearing the dust and debris of too many things gone not-quite-right...
Leaving behind a tiny pink point of light...
And a wish to love you for who you are...
For what this is...
Nothing more...
For always...


photo: Googled, from here

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Oh I want you I want you I want you

on a chair with a dead magazine...
I'm working on a choreographed routine for our summer showcase (yes, I said showcase, as in I'm performing (who IS this person???)), and we decided to do a combination Viennese/Argentine Vals. I'm just learning Vals and no one else at my studio even dances it, so that makes it even COOLER to do as a show piece.  Then it came time to decide on a song... MY song... One I get to choose...

But what song?  It couldn't be something typical...  Go original or go home I say...  It couldn't be something light and happy and cotton candy pink (never mind about the dress, I'm trying to make a statement here).  It needed to be something dark, something complicated, something real.

My first choice was Hallelujah (of course).  Right timing and everything... But the Jeff Buckley version was too irregularly timed to waltz to... So we tried Alexandra Burke... Right timing but...  A show tune?  I can't dance to a show tune...  A big band happy production of a song that's meant to leave you drained and on your knees...

So I went back to my BFF, the internet...  And came up with this one...  I think it's perfect...  Even though no one watching will know what I'm trying to say...

I will...

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

It's only been a month...

Miami Apocalypse

Maybe a little more...

That's not so long in the grand scheme of things...  30 days out of decades...

I shouldn't be surprised that my thoughts wander in your direction so often...  That my palms are heavy with the magic trapped inside my hands...

That I still feel like I have no idea how to do this...

Once in while I get an inkling... Some small idea as to how to let you go...

But it never lasts... It slips away before I can write it down, capture it's form, twist it into a key that will finally set me free...

The thing is, I really don't want to be free...

I just don't believe...

Anymore...

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Dance Dance Dance!!!

  Funny how something brand-new can take over your imagination, your thinking, your life...

As brand-new empty-nesters, my husband and I have taken up ballroom dancing.  And when I say taken up I mean jumped-in-with-both-feet-total-immersion.  We have adjusted our schedules, our free time, even our thinking about vacations and where we want to live because of it.  It's given us something to do together, something to BE together.  And we have a social life outside of kids & work for the first time since we've been married, and for me, maybe the first time ever.

To start something totally new at this stage in my life is totally in-line with my goals and who I think I am as a person.  At the same time, regret at having not started sooner, at having wasted a more physically capable time, nags at the edges with it's 'what were you thinking?' evilness...

I have to keep reminding myself that even if I had started this 20 years ago, I'd still be here... Still be wanting to learn something new... If I want to spend my entire life learning, there will always be something I wish I'd learned sooner...  And always something there to be learned later...

And there are worse things to regret...


Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Calm after the storm...

Wet washed, clean and fresh...

The calm after the storm...

That's my life right now...

That's my life...

I think it scares me...

Alot...